I begin a new line of music
to hold the frameless parable.
The room is there
where the field mice nested,
where the insect broke its wing
and still found a way to fly.
Points of power on my walls,
scents in my basement,
a bread basket in my hands.
My wholeness increases, months after he has been gone.
I breathe out my fear and listen to the sounds falling
like flowers, watch the butterfly
darting past the bus shelter, beautiful among grey matter
and Monday faces.
Mythical are the letters of his name saying goodbye,
saying the past is gone and this day belongs
where it is.
in the vast cave where
the entrances and exits were lost long ago,
where the only smell is stale bat dung
and fungus is carpeting (hanging loosely from) the ceiling.
Home is not a place I can find outside
this enclosure. It calls to me – a vision
that falls in my lap
like a tangerine, that slips into oblivion before
I take a second bite.
There are only apparitions here. Apparitions that haunt me
but have no idea of my name.
Apparitions that sit beside me on the carpet, have
conversations then fade into meaningless fluff.
Happy at first I was to meet them, with their pretty pictures
and well-rehearsed spiritual words.
Happy I was to love them like a firefly in this dark kennel.
But my birthday came and went without much fanfare.
And I am waiting still for the darkness to end.
I look to see
your naked back
against the day’s light
and see a language
translating the flow
of flesh, into wave and wind and all
that moves with the bouncing tide.
I am not blind
to the weeds of whirlwind circumstances.
But together, with eyes locked
in knowing love, we are like a mother with her child or
like that child, feeling (on open lips) a noon rainfall.
Allison Grayhurst is a member of the League of Canadian Poets. Three times nominated for Sundress Publications “Best of the Net” 2015, she has over 900 poems published in over 395 international journals. She has twelve published books of poetry, seven collections, nine chapbooks, and a chapbook pending publication. She lives in Toronto with her family. She is a vegan. She also sculpts, working with clay; http://www.allisongrayhurst.com/